The best things about being a solo mum

Being a solo mum, or single mum, is definitely tough for so many reasons  – especially if you don’t have help from the other parent But sometimes the upsides of not having that parent around outweigh any positives there may be. By a LOT. A lot a lot a lot.  There are so many benefits of being a single mum, and I think we should stop focusing on the negatives, and talk about the good stuff.

So if you’re feeling down about being a single mum, if you’re having a day that’s tougher than usual or it feels like a bit of a struggle, here are some positives. And while all of them might not apply to you as everyone’s situation is different, I’m sure you’ll be able to find some gold here.

You might even like to make your own list – some may be the same as mine, but I bet there are more. I’d love it if you would share them in the comments too.

Why I love being a solo mum!

1. I am the decision-maker
   I don’t need to ask anyone else for their opinion on my decisions!. I don’t have to listen to someone who a) may want to do something else b) may try to talk me out of what I want to do or c) try to stop me. My decision is king!
2. A very deep and open relationship with my daughter
   Emmie and I have always been together. We have the strongest, most open and supportive relationship possible and there are many reasons for that, but mostly I think because we have spent so much time together traveling, and also that we have been together since she was only a few months old. Since she was three months old we’ve been having conversations all day every day. There was never another person to take my attention from her. And I don’t mind.
3. I can sit in front of the TV with your belly hanging out eating chocolate
   I’m sure people with partners do too (I was never able to) but I can 100% let it all hang out and never have to worry! I am completely myself without censure or fear.
4. I can model being a strong woman to my daughter
   There is no one to put me down, to make me feel small or diminish me in front of my daughter. I can teach her about the kind of men to avoid, what to look out for and what the warning signs are, without her having to see it in action.
5. There’s no hiding purchases or having to do anything I don’t want to
   I have no one to hide anything from and everything I have is mine. I want something, I get it. Or I don’t. No big deal.
6. The only bad behaviour I have to put up with is my daughters
   And that, I don’t mind.
7. My daughter and I can travel wherever and whenever we like
   Emmie and I have travelled the world full time since 2016 apart from time we were home writing our book, Backyard to Backpack: A solo mum, a six year old and a life-changing adventure, and now because of covid. I feel so fortunate I could do this! Disclosure: I did ask her dad out of courtesy if he minded if I took Emmie traveling full time and he did not. Read why your should travel as a single mum here.
8. My self esteem is so much higher
   When you are out of a negative situation you can start to feel good about yourself again. And I feel FANTASTIC. And again, I can pass this onto Emmie.
9. I find a lot of power in knowing everything I have and own is mine from my own hard work.
   Just about everything we have came from me, and some with the generosity of my mum, dad and grandparents. Our home, our car, our opportunities and our travel came from my hard work, and our lives are still supported by my hard work. It’s tough of course, it’s a huge amount of responsibility but there is a power it in, and so much reward.
10. I am responsible for Emmie, and she will be amazing because of me.
    I am the main adult and influence on my daughter and I have the firm hand in guiding her. I don’t have to be concerned about another persons’ principles, values or prejudices influencing her open, accepting and welcoming outlook on life. We have had honest conversations about everything and there is no negative influence to question these beliefs of equality, fairness and acceptance.
11. We are free.

Please let me know yours below! xo

And if you’re feeling nervous about travelling check out our comprehensive family travel safety guide HOLIDAY SAFE: The complete guide to staying safe when traveling with kids It has everything you need to know about traveling safely on our family holiday or extended trip.